Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where I mourn the impending departure of long-time Lifehacker editor Whitson Gordon and wish him luck in his new role as offensive coordinator of the Dallas Cowboys.
Welcome to the Thanksgiving Cross Thread, where last year Zarnyx and Un-Timplied asked us to share our turkey doodles. Many of you posted beautifully handdrawn turkeys in response. I, out of sheer laziness, opened up the scribble tool on my Gmail app and drew this, in about fifteen seconds:
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where a paradox could cause a chain reaction that unravels the very fabric of the space-time continuum and destroys the entire universe. Or at least the Milky Way.
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where you consider destroying your neighbor, think better of it, and awkwardly pat him on the back of the head instead.
An old man turning ninety-eight, winning the lottery, and dying the next day
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where water turns into wine and your mop turns into your dog.
Hello. If you’ve been paying attention (and why would you have), you may remember me threatening to shoot a cat in order to get more people to volunteer to host open threads. Well, I’m afraid the cat has wised up and turned the tables on us. This time, if none of y’all volunteer, these chicks will get it.
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where you not only fail to put a puck in an empty net but also injure yourself in the process, at great cost to your health, reputation and dignity.
As you know, every now and then I ask for volunteers to host the Friday open thread in a (faux?) jovial manner. Not anymore. This time, if you don’t volunteer, this cat gets it:
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where we say goodbye to Elmo and collectively wonder what we could have done to help him before he went airborne.
Hello. Welcome to the Friday open thread, where you climb the car of an angry man who slaps the bucket off your head but that’s OK because you already knew that was going to happen and wore another bucket under the first one.
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where you can’t sit down without spilling food on yourself, suddenly go blind while pouring ingredients into a mixing bowl, find yourself threatened by a tape measure, and struggle with other tasks of daily life despite not having a degenerative motor neuron disease.
Hello. Welcome to the Friday open thread, where not for the first time we’ll all imbibe too many drinks and get tattoos we’ll regret in the morning.
Hello. Welcome to the Friday open thread, where I creep back into your lives after a month-long sabbatical and you politely pretend that you miss me.
Actually, you can't. But here are pictures of ten cats who make more than you do:
Every week, we ask notable people how they work. Today we interviewed a cat.
Hello. The last time we had a sign-up thread, I wrote: "I plan to do this every week but get lazy and figure, well, next week." Well, lesson not learned.
Hello. If you’ve been active on these threads in the last few weeks, you may have noticed a running gag involving a reader whose entire commenting history consists of brief thank you notes to Lifehacker writers. Today I’d like to talk to you about Adel, our mystery commenter.
Hello. Welcome to the Friday open thread, where once again I complain about the weather, make a barely serviceable joke, and drop some kind of reference to Andy Orin's cat blog, in an ongoing effort to get myself fired from open thread duty.
Hello! Welcome to the Friday open thread, where it's so cold that snowmen are dying of hypothermia and robotic quadrupeds are trying to evict you from your home base. Thanks, Organa.