Lauren Theisen's posts - Spanish uPOST

Let's Remember Some Celebrity Couples

Remember when Madonna and Dennis Rodman were a thing? What ever happened to that couple?

For Three Minutes, Khalil Mack Was A God For Three Minutes, Khalil Mack Was A God

Even though the Bears’ game on Sunday night ended with a gut-wrenching blown 20-0 lead and a Packers comeback of the classic Aaron Rodgers variety, there is one silver lining to Chicago’s 24-23 loss: Khalil Mack already looks extremely worth the $60 million signing bonus.

Deadspin Up All Night: Running Up That Hill Deadspin Up All Night: Running Up That Hill

Thanks for your continued support of Deadspin. ’Night.

Tiny Child On Field Can't Stand Titans-Dolphins Weather Delay Tiny Child On Field Can't Stand Titans-Dolphins Weather Delay

Today’s Titans-Dolphins game, currently in its second weather delay, sounds like absolute hell for any fans in attendance:

Browns Improve On 2017 Season

Today, for the first time since Christmas Eve 2016, the Cleveland Browns did not lose a game, playing the Pittsburgh Steelers to a 21-21 overtime tie. It was still, inevitably, a pretty big disappointment for Cleveland.

Tyreek Hill Is Already Making Everybody Look Silly

Chiefs WR/return specialist Tyreek Hill is ridiculously, blazingly fast, and he got to show off that speed almost immediately after Kansas City began their season today. When the Chiefs got a defensive stop, and the Chargers punted away, Hill took the opportunity to cross the field and then run 91 yards to the end…

It Took Just 34 Minutes For The Bills To Ditch Nathan Peterman It Took Just 34 Minutes For The Bills To Ditch Nathan Peterman

Nathan Peterman has, um, struggled just a bit in his time as a Buffalo Bills quarterback, most notably in the five-pick first half that followed his inexplicable start against the Chargers last season. But for some reason, the Bills felt confident enough in a guy who had never thrown for more than 80 yards in a game…

Myles Garrett Falls Victim To NFL's Terrible New Roughing The Passer Rule Myles Garrett Falls Victim To NFL's Terrible New Roughing The Passer Rule

The NFL’s new roughing the passer rule is terrible and insane, penalizing otherwise normal football plays by prohibiting defensive players from landing on a quarterback with their body weight—which is extremely difficult if not impossible to do sometimes. In true Cleveland Browns fashion, they were one of the first…

GRONK SMASH PUNY CAMERA

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Reports: LeSean McCoy Is Unlikely To Be Charged, Coincidentally In Time For You To Root For Him Today Reports: LeSean McCoy Is Unlikely To Be Charged, Coincidentally In Time For You To Root For Him Today

Buffalo Bills running back LeSean McCoy is unlikely to faces charges stemming from his alleged role in a home invasion and robbery in July that put his ex-girlfriend, Delicia Cordon, in the hospital, according to reports this morning from Adam Schefter and Ian Rapoport.

Report: NFL Will Not Have National Anthem Policy This Season Report: NFL Will Not Have National Anthem Policy This Season

Back in May, NFL owners terrified of Donald Trump approved a new jingoistic national anthem policy decreeing that “all league and team personnel shall stand and show respect for the flag and the Anthem,” before games. The new rule essentially banned any kind of visible protest—such as Colin Kaepernick and many other…

NCAA Punishes Kentucky Soccer Players For Pick-Up Game With Foo Fighters NCAA Punishes Kentucky Soccer Players For Pick-Up Game With Foo Fighters

Dave Grohl and his classic rock band the Foo Fighters came to Lexington, Kentucky back in May, and boy did they get up to some trouble. The lowlife musicians hit the sleepy town like a heinous tornado of vulgar debauchery, and along the way they swept some University of Kentucky soccer players into their devilish…

Report: Detroit Tigers Announcers Had A "Physical Altercation" After Game [Update] Report: Detroit Tigers Announcers Had A "Physical Altercation" After Game [Update]

Play-by-play man Mario Impemba and color commentator Rod Allen have been calling Tigers games on Fox Sports Detroit together for over a decade—and they make a great on-screen duo, for what it’s worth. But apparently, putting two men together in a small box and forcing them to talk for several hours 162 games a year…

Shohei Ohtani, Who Needs Tommy John Surgery, Is Still Out Here Smashing Dingers

Tommy John surgery—which Angels pitcher/DH Shohei Ohtani is supposed to receive, per a team announcement today—will steal a whole year from a dominant hurler in his prime. But UCL damage won’t necessarily hold back a good hitter. And luckily for all of us, what could be devastating news for any other pitcher in…

Aw Fuck, Shohei Ohtani Needs Tommy John Surgery Aw Fuck, Shohei Ohtani Needs Tommy John Surgery

As a hitter, Shohei Ohtani has seemed pretty dang healthy since returning to the Angels lineup from a UCL sprain in his throwing elbow in July. As a pitcher, however, he was kept off the mound for nearly three months while undergoing a non-surgical rehab program. When he returned last weekend, he only got seven outs…

Steelers Players Trash Le'Veon Bell And Carry Water For Ownership Steelers Players Trash Le'Veon Bell And Carry Water For Ownership

It’s just a few days before the Steelers’ season starts, but running back Le’Veon Bell’s holdout is still going. His absence from team meetings today pretty much guarantees he won’t play in Week 1 (which is probably his plan, to avoid as much wear and tear on his body as he can—say, another 400-touch season—to…

Sue Bird Just Murdered The Phoenix Mercury In Cold Blood

Despite a broken nose, some poor early shooting, and a terrifyingly talented underdog opponent that wouldn’t give up, Seattle Storm point guard Sue Bird became absolutely deadly when it mattered most. Tonight, in the deciding game of their semifinal, Bird buried the Phoenix Mercury with just a flat-out disgusting…

Todd Frazier Duped An Umpire With A Rubber Ball

In Monday’s Mets game against the Dodgers, New York third baseman Todd Frazier made what initially looked to be a spectacular over-the-railing grab on Alex Verdugo. According to the umpire and the official box score, that’s exactly what Frazier did. But a crafty investigation by SNY’s Steve Gelbs has revealed today…

Brett Phillips Somehow Stays In Game After Top-Speed Collision With Cleveland Wall [Update]

Young Kansas City Royals outfielder Brett Phillips became intimately acquainted with the right-center field wall in Cleveland tonight, taking a scary bump at full speed as he tried to chase down a Jose Ramirez hit. Phillips was looked at by the training staff, but despite the apparent brutality of the collision, he…

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