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Innocent Van Driver Fired For Keeping It Interesting

Okay, to you, a sniveling, boring person, see a Canadian maniac on an aquatic RAMPAGE, splashing unsuspecting pedestrians. Me, a hero? I see a Canadian doing their polite Canadian duty, and cooling off their fellow travelers on a hot summer’s day. Anyway, the van guy was fired.

Canadian Cops Who Are Clearly Tired Of This Bullshit Seize Exotic Sports Cars For 'Stunting' (Updated) Canadian Cops Who Are Clearly Tired Of This Bullshit Seize Exotic Sports Cars For 'Stunting' (Updated)

Look, just because you’re driving a $100,000 supercar doesn’t mean you don’t have to drive along at a snail’s pace like the rest of us plebeians. No no, you too have to suck it up as all of those 500+ horsepower go to waste. And if you don’t—as these people near Niagara Falls, Canada didn’t—your car’s getting towed.

Roads Are For Boats, Too

The mere boundaries of water shall not deter the wild Canadian boating hoser from exploring new ground. Hinder him not with your puny forest service roads! Our intrepid hoser will find a way, eh.

You Don't Know Rust Until You See What Passes For A Car In Canada You Don't Know Rust Until You See What Passes For A Car In Canada

I thought I had a good understanding of how rusty cars are in Canada, then I saw this Nissan 240SX held together with little more than hopes and dreams.

Volkswagen's New CEO Will Get A Heads-Up If The U.S. Charges Him Over Dieselgate Volkswagen's New CEO Will Get A Heads-Up If The U.S. Charges Him Over Dieselgate

Good morning! Welcome to The Morning Shift, your roundup of the auto news you crave, all in one place every weekday morning. Here are the important stories you need to know.

The Arrogant Worms – 'Rocks And Trees' The Arrogant Worms – 'Rocks And Trees'

Traffic sucks, so why not start your morning off with some music? You provide the toast and we’ll provide the jams.

This Weirdo Comedy Show From The 1990s Was Making Fun Of Every Car YouTube Channel

You found out the ONE TRUE WAY to protect your car from pot holes NOW?!?!?!?!?!?! Check out your custom-built VARIABLE-WHEELBASE machine!!!!!!!!! You spent HOW MUCH on a SUPRA?!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! Okay, so that last one wasn’t featured on the Red Green Show, but the whole thing did seem like a send-up of present-day Car…

Confusing Road Signs Are Trapping Drivers In A Canadian Province Confusing Road Signs Are Trapping Drivers In A Canadian Province

They built a new stretch of highway in the Canadian province of New Brunswick recently, and while new stretches of highway are generally good, this one might be bad, since, drivers say, the highway’s signs are confusing, such that some people are having trouble leaving the province at all. It’s a bit like that Eagles…

The Canadian Prime Minister's Motorcade Was Involved In A Crash The Canadian Prime Minister's Motorcade Was Involved In A Crash

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s motorcade was involved in a crash, just after leaving an event at the Reagan Presidential Library in Simi Valley, California, ABC News reports. The Canadians, presumably, have already apologized.

Please Let The World Rally Championship Race Come To Canada You Hosers

Canada isn’t just for chuggling maple syrup on a snowmobile while pretending to be the God of Snow. It also hosts incredible rallies, including some utterly brutal snow rallies. The only thing missing is the present-day World Rally Championship cars, and fortunately, the Rally Promoter Association of Canada announced…

This Unholy Child Of A Miata And A Snowmobile Is Your New Winter King

Shut down the internet, everybody: I have found the world’s greatest Miata.

Man Stops His Truck And Decides To Go For A Skate On The Highway

On Jan. 9, when temperatures in nearby Yorkton, Saskatchewan, reached a low of about 10 degrees fahrenheit, Kristyn Eftoda and her husband Wade were commuting home on a highway near Dropmore, Manitoba, when they noticed that the road was a sheet of ice. That’s when Wade, in a moment of inspiration, grabbed his skates.

Moose Runs Rampant And Slows Traffic

Is the best part of this video the wagging tongue? I think it is. The best part of the video is that tongue.

Drivers Just Can't Stop Hitting This Giant Rock In A Parking Lot Drivers Just Can't Stop Hitting This Giant Rock In A Parking Lot

Canada’s CBC News reports that drivers at a recycling center in Calgary, Alberta “can’t seem to stop hitting a giant rock in a suburban parking lot, despite it being an inanimate object surrounded by yellow-painted curbs.” This damn rock. Who saw it there, anyway? It came out of nowhere.

Some Brilliant Toronto Residents Fixed This Intersection With Chalk And Leaves Some Brilliant Toronto Residents Fixed This Intersection With Chalk And Leaves

Where Regal Road and Springmount Avenue meet in Toronto, there’s quite a bit of pavement, and, importantly, all-way stop signs. The problem is that not a lot of drivers stop, probably in part because of all that space, and because it’s a rush-hour alternative to busy streets nearby. Some residents recently took it…

These Hosers Destroyed An Oldsmobile Alero So We Didn't Have To

The Oldsmobile Alero is all but the definition of a “regular car.” It’s bland. It’s inoffensive. It will get you from Point A to Point B just fine. It can also do burnouts and sweet jumps if you’re quite bored. SEND IT!

What's Wrong With This Picture? What's Wrong With This Picture?

This photo was taken yesterday in Surrey, British Columbia. Something seems off.

Police Stop Driver With Tablet And iPhone Attached To Steering Wheel Police Stop Driver With Tablet And iPhone Attached To Steering Wheel

Earlier this week, we brought you the story of a driver in Vancouver who was fined 368 Canadian dollars for playing Pokémon Go while driving. Three’s a trend in journalism, so we’re not quite there yet, but Vancouver police now at least have back-to-back hits this week, thanks to this driver whom they stopped with a…

Driver Fined 368 Canadian Dollars After Pulling Up Alongside Cops While Playing Pokémon Go Driver Fined 368 Canadian Dollars After Pulling Up Alongside Cops While Playing Pokémon Go

I honestly didn’t know that people still play Pokémon Go, but I guess they do.

Fatal Pileup Outside Of Toronto Shuts Down Highway After Massive Fire Fatal Pileup Outside Of Toronto Shuts Down Highway After Massive Fire

At least two people were reported dead Wednesday after fourteen vehicles were involved in a massive pileup that led to explosions and a fire north of Toronto, according to Canadian police. Two of the vehicles involved were fuel tankers.

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